Monday, July 12, 2004
Faith/doubt
Exactly why the music of Pedro the Lion has been reverberating in my skull like a caffeinated pinball most recently...

Bazan's own faith is clearly a work in progress. He feels Pedro the Lion is "representing a minority of people who deserve somebody to stand up and say, 'I believe in the deity of Christ, and yet I can't honestly call myself a Christian.' " On Pedro's new record, Bazan offers to buy anyone interested a drink and "tell you why I doubt it and why I still believe."


Faith/doubt.

Tension.

That God tolerates doubt is perhaps the greatest hope to believe. That Grace alone tips the scales against my laundry list of reasons not to believe...

If my soul could absorb that, then I guess I could be some sort of Faith superhero.

Link

Reminds of the following exchange in Kubrick's Vietnam flick Full Metal Jacket:
Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

Of course, there's the obnoxious Evangelical drill sargearnt in my head telling me to get with the program, hop on for the big win.

But I don't buy it.

I'd like to think that God is okay with me simultaneously clinging to my belief in one hand and my unbelief in the other. I'd like to think that somehow makes me human.

Pisteuo. Boethei mou tei apistia.

posted by Peter at 11:20 AM
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