Wednesday, March 09, 2005
On empty
Ahhh. told me it was 34 degrees. I just got back three hours later and it's supposedly 30 now with a wind chill of 23. I wore my longjohns and hoodie.

It's intramural softball season again. The field was the consistency of mashed potatoes and gravy thanks to a downpour earlier in the week, yet a good time was had by all.


Alan and I spent some time chatting yesterday afternoon in regards to his post on his feeling especially empty this Lent season. My ensuing comment went something along the lines of, "Uh huh. Me, too."

Seriously. I got nothing. Before yesterday, hadn't picked up the lectionary in a week. Our chat then spilled into our VBCC family time later in the evening. And I start to thinking that maybe this is the point. Lent is not the season for victorious allelulias. Lent is not the mountaintop experience. Most important, Lent is not about me and my feeling like I'm getting anything out of it.

How many times have I emerged from a time of worship or prayer or a service asking, "Now, what did I get out of it?" Ugh. Too many times.

Celebrating the seasons of the church calendar is a discipline. I've been regularly lifting weights since the beginning of the semester. Discipline. Some days I hurt. Some days I don't. Some days I feel something. Some days nothing.

Spritual formation requires discipline, and discipline shows no regard whatsoever to emotional response. It moves on and shows it no mercy.

So I'm getting over not feeling anything during Lent.

But here's the weird thing: I left there for Guy's Night, and walking from my car to the eatery, I was in a more tired and cranky mood. That figures.

At least my car didn't get towed. Like Adam's.

posted by Peter at 11:50 PM
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