Tuesday, October 19, 2004
"Where no islands should go"
I visited yet another Lexington UM church. I actually got there early. Me and Mapquest have this love/hate relationship. I always--ALWAYS--miss the final turn while on my way to a new church and wind up around 15 minutes late. Not this Sunday, though.

There it was. Explicitly on the right hand side of the road. Just past two sizable churches with buildings nearly the same size. That's kinda weird.

Being early, I found myself a seat in an empty pew in the tenth row.

Driving on the way there, I had been blasting Death Cab for Cutie's "Transatlanticism" from the car speakers.
he atlantic was born today and i'll tell you how...
The clouds above opened up and let it out.
I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed;
they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flood lands
To your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer


The service starts and I still have the pew all to myself. As I glance around, I'm not the only one. The sanctuary is half full, generously speaking. There are pockets of people scattered all around.

No, they're not even pockets. It's ones and twos even spread apart like electrons from those chemistry models you remember from fifth grade. We're like polarized magnets pushing away from each other. We're not safe without two pews worth of buffer space.

This is Church. This is the Community of Faith.

These are islands in the last place islands should go.

Such sad irony.

******

She informs me last week that she discovered the blog. Yes, panic, I know. Just exactly again have I written?

In a way, that was relieving. I'd been wondering how and when to bring up that whole, "Oh yeah, and I'm divorced" thing. So that was taken care of on it's own.

In another way, it was terrifying in a kind of buck-naked-in-a-crowd kind of way. All my cards are on the table now regarding interest. She's a smart cookie. This required a walk-n-talk last Monday--a frank discussion to put forth my intentions and expectations. And in the end, I felt satisfied simply to articulate all those thoughts out loud just to myself.

I have no idyllic illusions about relationships, marriage, sex and that whole gamut. Thank God I'm not 19 anymore. I know what relationships cost emotionally, and I presently cannot afford that. I am rather enjoying the comraderie of mixed company and am content to leave it as such.

She seemed appreciative, and said so. Her response when all was said: "So... can we still hang out?"

Sigh of relief.

Of course, now I know she will see this and set me straight if I'm off my rocker.

posted by Peter at 1:44 AM
| | permalink |